Heavy metal fans enjoyed heavy-duty mayhem last Friday.
We are talking about fans of mashed-up metal. Of the bashed, battered, beaten and buckled variety. Of the shattered, splintered and squashed sort. Of the pounded and pulverized kind.
We are talking about front and back ends of trucks being squished like coke cans. About the acrid stench of gasoline. About shoots of flame coming out of pipes.
We are talking about the Demolition Derby which reared its massive, grotesque and very noisy head at the Rodeo Grounds to drive a huge crowd into a frenzy of excitement.
First there were 11 trucks in three heats. Then announcer Charles Parsons said there was more to come … and into the arena roared several trucks like starved lions ready to tear each other apart.
The derby was now going to five heats, a grudge match and a big finale, and in between was a separate competition in which a blindfolded lady driver had to negotiate an obstacle course with the guidance of her male passenger.
It meant there was no let-up to the action once the derby got under way at about 6 p.m.
The favoured method of mayhem was for drivers to push down on the accelerator while in reverse, protecting their engines as far as possible.
The name of the game was demolition, and soon all the vehicle logos began to read that way with a little imagination. For example, Total Plumbing and Heating could now read Total Wreck. Barrhead Auto Parts read Bits and Pieces. Cyre Seed Farms read Seeds of Destruction and McLeans Distributors read Unclean Redistributors.
Mandi Lima, the only lady competitor, was driving a self-built 85 Chevy painted with the moniker Man Eater. Forget sexist nonsense about the gentler sex, Mandi was up for mixing and mangling with the best of the guys, none of whom was prepared to show her any favours.
For one heart-stopping moment it looked as though Mandi might end up on her roof after Jeremy Coleridge backed into her, but she righted herself and finished second in heat #3 to take home a $100 prize.
By the time the metal mania ended, Coleridge was last man and machine standing. As king of the wreckers he won $1,000, while David Broesky received $300 for coming second.
It was noticeable that after all the crashing and bashing, there was not once incident of road rage.
Dale Greig, executive of the Barrhead Agricultural Society, said the derby had been a key part of the fair for many years.
This was the first time only trucks had entered. The event was a testament to the skills of the drivers who had to get their vehicles battle ready – only for their hard work to be undone, sometimes in a matter of minutes or even seconds.
The results of Friday’s derby were:
Heat One: 1st - David Broesky, $300; 2nd - Edwin, $100; Heat Two: 1st - Jason Capiuk, $300; 2nd - Marlo Mast, $100; Heat Three: 1st - Jeremy Coleridge, $300; 2nd - Mandi Lima, $100; Heat Four (Buyback): 1st - Mike Driessen, $300; Heat Five: 1st - Al Engman, $300; 2nd - Rob Engman, $100; Final: 1st - Jeremy Coleridge, $1,000; 2nd - David Broesky, $300.
