WESTLOCK — Growing up in Westlock Gordon Bell struggled with dark thoughts of doubt and even contemplated suicide. Despite his hard work and skill, there were still people who told him he would never succeed as a hockey player.
But for all his struggles and challenges, the 42 year old did succeed and carved out an impressive semi-pro hockey career as part of the East Coast Hockey League with the Oklahoma City Blazers, Amarillo Gorillas and Tulsa Oilers between 2006 and 2013 and founded the Bellz Edge Elite Hockey Camp.
Bell’s story was one of a handful shared during the inaugural Hometown Hockey Hero event held Aug. 13 at Memorial Hall. He was excited to share and hoped others might be willing to offer up their stories because it’s “part of the healing.”
He spoke about some of the darkest times in his life and how he has fought to overcome the mental health demons that once held him captive. Those demons often came in the voices of others that cast shadows of doubt and unworthiness.
“I let everybody tell me what I was going to be able to do and where I’d be and that’s who I listened too,” he said. “They told me regardless of how good I was at hockey, I could never make progress because I was just too small.”
Despite a promising future, he was still left with questions and uncertainty about a career — hockey was the only thing that made him happy, and he didn’t know what else to do or where to turn.
“So, I did what everyone else did at that age … I started drinking and doing drugs. A lot of drugs, a lot of alcohol … anything I could get my hands on to just get those voices away,” he told the audience.
Bell said he felt it was important for him share his story publicly and wanted to do so in his hometown, among family and friends, including Soul Sisters Memorial Foundation president Christine Vachon and her family.
“In my childhood from the time I lived here until now, the Vachons have always held a special space in my heart,” said Bell. “It’s my hometown and this town means a lot to me. We started this hockey camp to try to help change some culture within the hockey community and it’s been really special.”
Danny Zzzz shares his story
Bell is close friends with Danny Zzzz, whose real name is Danny Paulin, a friend from St. Catharines Ont., who has known Bell and his family for more that 15 years. The two first met at one of Paulin’s shows in 2008.
Paulin is a magician, illusionist, escape artist, entrepreneur and inspirational speaker and was invited to share about his life and his own mental health struggles during the event. Paulin has made several television and stage appearances in recent years, including Dragon’s Den and America’s Got Talent: Extreme in 2021.
Paulin has persevered through much of his life and has had to overcome several difficult and trying times, one of which found himself living on his own at 13. Later in life, while performing a dangerous stunt in Italy in 2017, he almost died when something went horribly wrong. He walked away with a broken collarbone and a torn bicep.
“It was probably the first time in my life I was so sure that I was going to die,” an emotional Paulin told a stunned crowd after watching a video clip of the stunt.
The most difficult day Paulin and his family have experienced came on Sept. 18, 2020 — the day he lost his son Mason on his 22nd birthday. He shared memories of his son, to whom he dedicated his AGT Extreme television appearance last year, during his presentation in Westlock and noted the importance of speaking out about mental health issues alongside Bell.
“When you deal with tragedy, it doesn’t matter if it’s a death or depression … when a friend needs something you step up,” said Paulin. “We’re both really proud to be able to share a stage together and work towards something that’s very, very important.”
Remembering Zach
The evening also delved into the life of Westlock para-athlete Zach Savage, who played with the Canadian national para hockey team and passed away at the age of 22 in early July. A raffle draw was held for a Team Canada hockey jersey with Savage’s name and number.
Westlock Warrior Rod Kaliel shared a few words about Zach that evening and noted how “Zach travelled the world with the Canadian national team and was known for his enthusiasm and his grit.”
The Zach Savage jersey raised $2,220 with proceeds going to the Straz Strong Foundation, founded by former Humboldt Bronco player and fellow Team Canada teammate, Ryan Straschnitzki. The foundation aims to provide those with physical and mental disabilities an improved quality of life through adaptive sports, social awareness through public speaking and funding for rehabilitation needs.
“When Chris and Gord started planning this event, it was well before Zach’s passing but it was something that happened and the timing seemed right,” said Kaliel. “That’s why I reached out to Tanya (Zach’s mom) to see if she was comfortable with us doing something to honour him.”
Vachon also noted the important role the foundation has in supporting individuals and families in their time of need.
“Not only do we look for ways to support families that have gone through a tragedy, but it’s also important to let them know we’re there to give them some support,” said Vachon. “It’s just making that connection and letting that family know that they can reach out to us at any time.”
The emotional and moving presentation by both Bell and Paulin touched many people that night including Westlock resident Tanya Kaliel.
“I think it was very brave of Gordon Bell to stand up and talk about his struggles with mental health and Danny Zzzz also shared a very powerful story,” she said. “The more that people talk about these mental health issues, the more we can be aware and the more we can help as many people as possible.”
