Barrhead couple celebrates 65 years of marriage

A successful marriage takes a lot of hard work, love and trust. And if anyone should know it is the Barkemeyers who celebrated their 65th wedding anniversary on Dec. 3.

Herman and Inga visited the Barrhead Leader to talk about their decades long love affair.

Their journey together started more than 70 years ago when they first met in grade school in Camp Creek.

Herman just moved into the community from Cochrane with his mother. 

"I was 12 and Herman was 15," Inga said, jokingly saying she accompanied Herman to the Leader to keep him honest.

However, their introduction was brief. About four months later, Herman decided to move to Innisfail to live with his father. 

He returned to Camp Creek close to two years later, but his return was short-lived. At 17-years-old Herman decided to enlist in the Canadian Army and was assigned to the Princess Patricia's Canadian Light Infantry unit as part of Canada's United Nations contribution in the Korean War.

It wasn't until he returned to the Barrhead area from his 18-month overseas stint that they started dating in earnest.

"It was quite a long courtship," Inga said.

One of the reasons why their courtship was so long was because Herman wasn't in Canada long before he was stationed at Camp Petawawa for the better part of two years.

The couple kept in touch, mostly by mail and on rare occasions the telephone.

"Barrhead didn't have a lot of telephones," Inga said, adding when they did speak on the telephone, she would have to go to the Dallas Hotel. 

Herman interjected that this would have been from the start of 1953 to the end of 1954. 

By 1955, Herman returned to Alberta taking a job in Edmonton. At this time he was no longer in the army and he would visit Inga on his days off.

"We knew we wanted to get married, but we did not have a lot of money," he said.

Thankfully, he said that is where his twin brother Johnny (John) enters the story.

John made a deal with his brother, promising that if he named his first son "John after me", he would give him a savings bond of more than $200.

"He knew I was going to do that regardless because my dad's name is John, and Inga's father is John, along with my brother," Herman said.

With money at hand, the pair were married at 6 p.m. at St. Mary Abbots Anglican Church, which was located where the gazebo is at the end of Main Street on a cold -40 C day.

After the ceremony, they held the reception/dinner before moving on to the Freedom Hall for community dance.

"Back in those days, when people got married they usually had an open dance where anyone could come because everyone loved dancing," Inga said.

One notable exception, Herman injected, was the the groom. 

The next day the newlyweds left for a weeklong honeymoon in Calgary. They did not have a car so they took the bus there and back. However, on the way back they ran into a little snag: they did not have enough money for the last part of the trip from Edmonton to Barrhead.

Luckily for them, Herman learned from his time in the army that the one thing a young man needed to have was a good watch, which he pawned.

"I wasn't very impressed," Inga recalled.

Herman decided to reenlist in the Canadian Armed Forces, this time in the Royal Canadian Airforce. He was temporarily stationed Quebec, serving as a drill instructor, for close to four months before he accepted a transfer to RCAF Claresholm.

It was here, that the Barkemeyers had the first of their three children, a son and true to his word, they named him John.

"We couldn't have lived in a better place as newlyweds," Herman said, adding the people of Claresholm were so warm and welcoming.

Inga agreed, adding their apartment was especially memorable as it was located right off the highway in what was an International Order of Odd Fellows Hall.

"It had a slanted floor," Inga said.

"When Johnny first learned to walk, he was like a sidecar dowager and you had to put the brakes on the carriage or it would smash into the wall," Herman added. "We had a great time there."

After the base was closed in 1958, the pair moved to Innisfail when Herman was transferred to nearby Penhold. It was here that their second child, Garth was born. 

And although they enjoyed their time there, especially being able to visit Herman's father, who still lived in Innisfail, Inga missed Barrhead, her parents and the farm. So when it came to re-enlist, they opted out.

Herman took a job in the oilfield, working construction for two different oil companies, while Inga went back to help out on the family farm. 

"I wanted to work as hard as I could and make as much money as I could," he said, noting eventually he would settle working with one oil company.

The arrangement meant that for about six years, Herman lived in Swan Hills and only saw Inga and the boys, who were joined by their daughter Cindy on his days off, which might be 30 days in between. He transitioned to one company which allowed him to go home to the farm more often, and eventually the company moved to shift work which allowed him to commute.

While he was doing this, Inga, took care of the home and helped her parents take care of the farm, which the Barkemeyers would eventually buy and expand.

After 20 years, Herman quit construction and transitioned to the oil rigs which had the benefit of allowing him to spend summers on the farm.

"It was a true partnership in every sense of the word. We work well together," he said.

Inga agreed, adding Herman working in the oil industry allowed them the to stay on the farm for 39 years and have a lifestyle they wouldn't have had otherwise.

"Sometimes the pay was poor, but there was a lot of love there," she said. "A marriage and family doesn't work unless there is a lot of love, trust and laughter."

They also said their marriage and life would not have been as successful without the support of their children, their spouses and their nine grandchildren, and seven great-grandchildren.

"Thank you so much, love you all."

Barry Kerton, TownandCountryToday.com