BARRHEAD - In Canada, it is estimated that as many as one in six young girls and one in 12 young boys will experience sexual abuse, ranging from inappropriate contact to touching of genitals to actual penetrative abuse. (It should be noted there is another category of sexual abuse not included in this statistic, which involves exposure to genitals or indecent material like pornography.)
Though there is no way to confirm this figure, it is estimated that as much as 95 per cent of child sexual abuse in Canada is not reported to an official source like the police or social services.
“I can’t even tell you the number of workshops I’ve done … where older auntie Betty, who’s like 80 years old, is sitting there because somebody wanted her there, and she breaks down and starts talking about her entire childhood,” said facilitator Ashley Cloutier, while speaking to the dozen or so participants in the Little Warriors workshop on Feb. 19 in Barrhead.
Little Warriors is a national charitable organization originally started in 2008 by Glori Meldrum, a survivor of child sexual abuse. It works to raise awareness about child sexual abuse, provide adults with prevention strategies and help treat the victims of child sexual abuse.
One of the ways Little Warriors addresses child sexual abuse is through the “Prevent It!” workshop.
“The workshop is unique in Canada, as it was developed by researchers at the University of Alberta who used a rigorous, scientific review of literature to develop a comprehensive program guide outlining the advised content and rationale of the program,” Cloutier said, reading from a prepared statement.
“The primary intention of this workshop is to significantly improve knowledge, behaviour and attitudes of participants regarding child sexual abuse.”
Cloutier indicated she had undergone training to offer the three-hour workshop. Participation was open to anyone, and about a dozen parents, educators and individuals who work in agencies that support children turned out for the event.
“Today’s kind of exciting, because by being here, each of you have already started to take action,” she said.
One of the first subjects the workshop explored was this question: who are the typical perpetrators of child sexual abuse? Contrary to the popular image of the older male stranger luring children into a windowless van, it is estimated that about 95 per cent of victims of child sexual abuse know their abuser, who is often in a position of authority over the child.
It was noted that fathers abusing their children is likely the most common form of child sexual abuse, though it is not uncommon for the abuse to be carried out by grandfathers. Sibling incest — an older brother or sister abusing their brother or sister — can also occur. And while boys being molested by women or older girls occurs less frequently, it is not out of the question.
And the negative impacts of child sexual abuse are far-reaching. Survivors of abuse may end up grappling with depression, eating disorders, suicidal thoughts, drug and alcohol abuse, issues with relationships and intimacy as adults, sexual promiscuity and teen pregnancy, and possible criminal actions.
With all that in mind, facilitator Ashley Cloutier asked the participants simple question: what would be the effects on society if we could prevent child sexual abuse?
“It would be a whole lot healthier,” a woman answered.
The workshop then delved into three commonly held myths about child sexual abuse, the first being is that children often lie about abuse occurring when it did not. In fact, research has shown that false allegations of sexual abuse by children are quite uncommon.
The second myth is that children who are sexually abused are more likely to become abusers themselves once they grow up. In fact, research shows that few children who are sexually abused go on to abuse other children when they are adults; by and large, survivors act as protectors of other children and seek to prevent what they went through.
The third myth is that children sometimes act in ways that are sexual, thus making it more likely to be abused. Sexual development is a normal part of a child’s development, but it is never the fault of the child.
The workshop then delved into methods of talking to children about normal sexual development and sexual abuse, which makes them less vulnerable to the latter. It discussed “teachable moments” that can be used as opportunities to discuss abuse, such as when a child is watching a TV show and one of the main characters suffers abuse.
On the subject of identifying child sexual abuse, it was acknowledged that this can be difficult because most of the signs are non-specific.
That said, beyond physical signs of abuse like unexplained bruises or sexually-transmitted infection, there are behavioural indicators like sexual knowledge that is unexpected for the child’s developmental level, increased anger or aggression, avoiding home, running away, self-harm, irregular school attendance and so on.
Also discussed were the signs of “grooming,” which occurs when an abuser is preparing a child to be abused. That includes adults making comments that start out as initially inappropriate but become more explicit, providing the child with special gifts and privileges, and distorting the sexual abuse and making it seem “acceptable and normal.”
It was noted that many grooming techniques are ultimately aimed at gaining one-on-one access to the child, which is why monitoring and limiting one-on-one time between adults and children is important.
Finally, the workshop explored the steps towards taking action to prevent child sexual abuse, which adults are legally obligated to report to the authorities. The most important tips to follow when a child discloses abuse is to believe them, to remain as calm as possible, to avoid promising things that you cannot guarantee and, most importantly, to believe the child.
Following the full presentation, a certificate was given to each participant to commemorate their completion.
Cloutier noted that the “Prevent It!” workshops are offered for free by Little Warriors; she said she offers a lot of family workshops in private homes, as well as church groups.
She added that arrangements to host one of the workshops can be done online through the Little Warriors website, which is https://littlewarriors.ca.
